Naturally.
December 7, 2010
For a year now I have been wishing that I could just halt everything for just a day, one single day, so I can just catch my breath. It is difficult to process the compounding emotions when the world just keeps turning and the days keep coming and the feelings keep making me feel. My ability to process and dismiss events and emotions became choked somewhere along the way, and now the backlog is much too overwhelming a thing to breach. I really wish life had an emergency brake I could pull, and spend as much time needed to just recognize some things. Right now they just look like a smear as this (not so)merry-go-round whirls and twirls at exorbitant speeds. I think I might get sick.
And yet, even in the midst of all the emotional chaos floating around in my brain and in my chest, there have been a few really lovely moments of remembering the person I am. It has only been recently that I have actually felt (above all other feelings) like myself in those moments. And the best part? I love her. And other people do too.
I will get there, and I will write more. Promise.